'Twas the Night After Christmas

'Twas the night after Christmas, and all through the room,
Lots of old tissue paper and gift bags were strewn.

The stockings were thrown on the floor without care.
They once had held candy, but now only held air.

The children all screamed as they jumped on their beds--
The candy and cookies had gone to their heads.

And Mom with her coffee, and Dad with his beer,
Slumped down on the sofa and tried not to hear.

When out in the yard, there arose such a clatter,
Dad threw on some pants to see what was the matter.

Away to the window Dad stumbled and yawned,
Then grabbed his old Samsung that once fell in a pond.

What should he see by the light of the moon?
Trash on the porch, and a pair of raccoons.

"Now, beat it! Now, go 'way! Now, scram, both of you!
Now, leave us! Now, buzz off! You stupid raccoons!

"Get off of my porch! Get off of my lawn!
Now, go away! Go away! Go away, all!"

Then, with a scurry, the varmints climbed down
The old wooden staircase and disappeared without sound.

And Dad gave a sigh, as he grabbed a Bud Lite--
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"