Everyone loved Disney's Frozen back when it came out. I've seen the movie exactly once. Not because I didn't enjoy it--it was cute, and the ending was perfect--but because we're not really a Disney family. In fact, I'm not much of a TV person. I watch YouTube more than is good for me, but if I'm going to spend an hour gawking at a screen larger than my cell phone, I'd rather be writing.
I made this realization a while ago, and now with Frozen 2 on its way to theaters, I'm ready to tell everyone why Hans was the stupidest villain in all of Disney history.
From any standpoint, Hans is a great villain. He seems like a great guy, and we genuinely like him until we find out he's evil. And his motivation is pretty solid, too. People have done terrible things to obtain power. And for a guy with twelve older brothers poised to inherit the throne of the Southern Isles, he's right. He has to marry into royalty somewhere if he ever wants to be king.
But there's a problem with that.
I can't take credit for this aspect of my theory. Other people online (notably SuperCarlinBrothers) have said that, if a man marries a queen, he doesn't become a king. He just stays a prince. Take Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip. They've been married for a very long time, but Prince Philip is still a prince.
But...there's also another problem. One that, so far, no one on the internet has pointed out.
I don't know if Hans hadn't thought his plan out all the way through, or if he just had to roll with the plot as it unfurled, or if he was genuinely an idiot. I'd blame the scriptwriters, but I'd much rather find fault in this otherwise perfect villain. Because when he stumbles out of that bedroom, saying that Anna died after they exchanged wedding vows, everyone around him should have scratched their heads and said...
"Hold on, Hans, you never married the girl. No one witnessed anything."
Allow me to impress you with my knowledge of NSFW History. I've had to do quite a bit of research on Viking weddings, and one thing that surprised me was that a wedding wasn't considered legal unless at least six people witnessed the, uh, consummation of the marriage. And it wasn't just Vikings. Following the bride and groom home was popular in other countries like England, and especially wherever nobility was involved.
Since Disney obviously isn't going to want to put something like this into a children's movie (though they wouldn't surprise me if they did), they could have just mentioned that no one witnessed the ceremony. At least one or two people, in modern America, have to watch you sign your marriage license before you can legally be married.
Of course, most kids aren't Klaus Baudelaire and know nothing of nuptial law. So none of them--and few of the older viewers--picked up on the plot hole. But writers see plot holes the same way interior designers see mismatched colors. We notice. And, if given the chance to sit back and think about it, it bugs us. A lot.
Anyhow, I am excited for Frozen 2, but not nearly as excited as I was to see How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World. And hopefully, while we're on the subject of sequels, you're excited to read Where I Stand, book 2 in the Clouds Aflame series. I'm releasing bits and pieces of the first chapter every Monday, and if you need to catch up on the first book, it's available on Amazon or by clicking the "Purchase" tab above.
What did you think of Frozen? What do you hope to see most in the sequel? Let me know in the comments below! God bless you, dear readers, and don't forget to like us on Facebook!
M. J. Piazza is a Jesus-loving, dog-walking country girl who just so happens to write books.