The Art of Invective

So today's post is a bit different than most. See, we're studying invective in class, which is basically a fancy way of saying we're learning how to insult people. Don't ask me why. Apparently, Shakespeare was really good at insults.
Anyway, I had to come up with five insults. I posted six below for good measure, and I want you to vote on which one is your favorite. If you have a better insult, post it in the comments below! (Don't worry; I've already submitted the assignment and won't steal your insult.)