How Loki Became a Mother

In the highest branches of a fictional tree live a whole bunch of gods. Odin is the leader of the gods, and Loki is his brother. Loki is possibly adopted, and if he isn't, Odin wishes he was. Thor--you know, tall guy, not that good looking--is Odin's son, the god of thunder. All of them, along with a few others who mostly have long and hard-to-pronounce names, live in a particular branch of the fictional tree called Asgard.
Now, Asgard isn't exactly the most well-fortified of fictional tree branches, so one day, a guy shows up and offers to build a fence around it in exchange for something only gods cared about. Obviously, the Asgardians are