Have you ever wondered what Amazon would be like if it existed hundreds of years ago? What sorts of items would be sold there? What would the reviews look like?
No? Never wondered that?
Well, I'm here to let you know anyway. Today, we'll be reviewing a purchase I made on Ancient Amazon about a month ago. (Rather, I went to Hobby Lobby and got my sewing machine out from the top shelf of my closet...same thing, really.) The item: a Viking hood. Verified purchase by M.J. Piazza.
The first thing I noticed about this product was its geometric design. I mean, it's literally a rectangle with a square on either side, except that the squares are folded so they look like triangles. This obviously means that the supplier is eco-friendly and doesn't want to waste fabric. I mean, it could have been made out of a square of fabric with literally zero waste material. It was a lovely color, a light sky blue, although I don't know if the felt was made of genuine wool or not. And it was a bit small when I tried it on--I almost had to take my glasses off to get it over my head.
Once on, it was rather tight around my shoulders, narrow as they are. I suppose that the average human now is a bit larger than the average human back when this product was common, so that makes sense. The hood was very deep, though, which I liked.
It wasn't until I wore it for a walk on a rainy 45-degree day that I realized how difficult it was to wear. It kept twisting around. This might be due to the fact that one of my shoulders is shorter than the other (ever since a bike wreck when I was 13), but it's still no excuse. I can't be the only person on earth with uneven shoulders. The product did a good job of keeping the rain off my chest and back, However, it didn't cover my shoulders well, and my arms were cold and wet.
The rain would also blow into my hood when I was walking into the wind. Since the hood was so deep, it gave me tunnel vision. It would also occasionally collapse, resulting in my being able to see nothing but a heart-shaped view of my surroundings. I had to keep an eye on my dog, so this was not acceptable. But when I tried to pull the hood back, more rain got in my face. I just had to accept the fact that I wouldn't be able to see much.
It kept the rain off my head, which is really what I purchased the item for. But sheesh! I really don't know if it was worth it. In order for me to wear a hood like that again, it would have to be under a hoodless jacket or when it's too warm for a jacket. I really can't imagine having to wear this for everyday use. I guess most people would wear it under a cloak or something, or use a penannular cloak pin to keep it in place. I don't know if I'm ready to do that in public though.
There's my take on Viking hoods. And speaking of Amazon, Where the Clouds Catch Fire is available on Kindle for a newly-reduced price of $3.99! Be sure to pick up a copy and leave us a five-star review when you've finished it. What's your favorite method of keeping the rain off? Let us know in the comments below! God bless you, dear readers, and don't forget to like us on Facebook!
M. J. Piazza is a Jesus-loving, dog-walking country girl who just so happens to write books.